Things I want to happen when I die

Just this month my beloved Uncle Uwe died. I miss him. He had made his wishes clear by writing a letter to his family declaring what he wished for to happen if he where to die. This I must admit is a big help to those who are left behind. I talked to my father about what he wanted before he died, but he never wrote it down. Just informing one or a few members of your family is a lot better than none, but it still leaves behind nagging questions for those who did not get this information first hand.

Today I read this post by Jon Canter in the Guardian. He wrote how his sister wanted a godless funeral and how he managed it. The following is kind of an open testament, to make life easier for those of my loved ones, in the case of my some day to be expected death. I am a non-believer. I was not raised either Christian, Muslim or any other Religion. I am very sure that there is no afterlife. Here are some ideas of how I would like my funeral to be.

First, get the cheapest casket available. If it’s the pink one or the one with the power-rangers, that’s fine with me. I don’t care if I am cremated or buried, take the cheaper option. Be sure to choose the cheapest option in the long term, a simple net present value calculation on the cost of maintaining a plot should be enough :-). Don’t get a vicar or similar person to do the talking. I expect my friends to take on that role and have some fun. Unearth some of the most embarrassing moments for the amusement of everyone! I have three songs that I would like to be sung, “O Lord Please Don’t Burn Us” and “Meaning Of Life” by Monty Pyhton. To finish I would love the song “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”. I love the idea of having a minute of silence, followed my cheering and clapping like at a soccer match, at the end of the ceremony. Afterwards go get something to eat. I don’t want any flowers or wreaths at the ceremony. If you feel like you need to do something, plant a tree for me. If you want to donate, do so to the Richard Dawkins foundation or the JREF. But don’t feel like you have to!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.